I decided after a long period of time to go back to blogging. Much has happened in the past year and exactly one year ago today was when I discharge from the psych ward at Highland Ridge. It was a wonderful day I came out feeling hopeful for the future. I came home to the love of my life and spent the entire week with her. Although today things have change since then. I'm no longer with KresLynn and the sad truth is I already attempted on taking my own life twice since the beginning of my BSW program. I was hospitalized for both times and they were hell. I remember the awful agony of being there and seeing how miserable my family was. I have never seen so much sadness due to my actions which brought much regret.
Even after these events I have my days of wanting to try again. but luckily I have methods of fighting them off. I go to therapy bi-weekly and take daily medications. I try to look on the bright side of things, and to keep myself occupied by going to school, playing music, and playing video games of course.
This image is a reflection of my current mind, it's dark and bleak. With ongoing battles going within, but with still some light in it. I'm not someone who thinks like this and expect people's attention. I think like this because it's a current problem going on with me. I know I won't be like this forever and that someday I'll take off the bearings from the past and move on with my life. I want to fulfill my goal to become a successful social worker. I want to change things and provide social justice. I'm disgusted how our social welfare is carried out today and I know I'll contribute to the much needed change.
Well this is my first post of the year 2013 and I'm going to stick to updating this blog. So be ready to read more in this upcoming year.
